people like you are the reason people like me need medication.

kc.

 to boddah pronounced,

speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. this note should be pretty easy to understand. all the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. i haven’t felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. i feel guilty beyond words about these things. for example when we’re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn’t affect the way in which it did for freddy mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. which is something i totally admire and envy. the fact is i can’t fool you. any one of you. it simply isn’t fair to you or me. the worst crime i can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if i’m having 100 % fun. sometimes i feel as if i should have a punch in time clock before i walk out on stage. i’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and i do. god, believe me i do but it’s not enough.

i appreciate the fact that i and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. i must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. i’m too sensitive. i need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm i once had as a child. on our last three tours i’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people i’ve known personally and as fans of our music, but i still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy i have for everyone. there’s good in all of us and i think i simply love people too much. so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. the sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces jesus man! why don’t you just enjoy it? i don’t know. i have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be.

full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. and that terrifies me to the point to where i can barely function. i can’t stand the thought of frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that i’ve become. i have it good, very good, and i’m grateful, but since the age of seven i’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. empathy! only because i love and feel for people too much i guess. thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. i’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! i don’t have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away.


peace, love, empathy.

empty bottles and empty promises.

no pienses. joder, no pienses. por qué? porque cuando piensas te das cuenta de lo realmente jodido que es todo. te das cuenta de que no sabes como has llegado hasta donde estás y ya no sabes a donde vas ni a donde quieres ir. luego, ya no sabes que coño hacer.
y qué es del dicho: ''no pensar, te da la felicidad'' ?. mienten. no pensar puede que sea todavía peor. simplemente por el hecho de que te dejas llevar por el momento, pensando que tienes tiempo y carisma de sobra para salir de la situación. y te ves días, meses, años después con el mismo puto problema a tus espaldas.
-no it isn't.

we.

girls are much more than what they seem. they’re more than just the makeup, the clothes, the shoes, the bags, the sunglasses, the outside. they’re more than just whiny bitches. we’re so much more.. too bad some boys can’t understand. a girl’s life is a bitch itself. on a daily basis we deal with bitches, backstabbers, lies, boyfriends, crushes, exes, appearance, insecurity, bullying and so much more. everyday we wake up, we have to shower. we have to fix our hair. then, we have to get dressed. we spend hours infront of our mirror for you. making sure we look good. then we have to apply make up. while doing all this, there’s so much to consider.. especially gossipers and guys. if something’s too short, they’ll call us a whore. something’s too long, they’ll call us ugly. we go through buckets full of ice cream because we’ve had way too many broken hearts. we cry because bitches wanna hate and boyfriends wanna bitch. we can’t complain because we don’t wanna be annoying. we trust people, then they end up stabbing us in the back. we learn stuff the hard way. every guy out there making a period joke, like are you for real? no. just because you’re being a little bitch and pissing me off doesn’t mean i’m on my period. get over it. we get hurt multiple times, and keep running back to the same people. we love hard, and hurt hard. we care too much. we’re never understood. we go through so much trouble when you don’t even notice. we listen to songs till five in the morning and fall asleep to it just because it reminds us of you. we try so hard to impress you, while dealing with all that’s said about us. after everything, we sit our asses down on tumblr and reblog everything that reminds us of you. we spill our guts out to our bestfriends who’ve probably had enough of you. we go on facebook and we check your profile a million times, and go through all your pictures. even if we have seen them all before. we hear what people say about us, and sometimes we break inside. but no matter what, even after everything, we have to come out strong. we have to put a big smile on our faces and pretend like everything’s ok. we have to act nice towards the haters, even knowing everything that they said about us. we love even though we know we shouldn’t. and we wait for something that’ll never happen. but no matter what, we manage to act like everything’s fine, even though everything’s falling apart. that’s a day in a girl’s life. imagine dealing with all that everyday. we’re so much more than what you think. so much more than what we seem. we love hard, and hurt hard.